


Yet Another Princess Bride AU

by A_Cinnamon_Roll



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Even though I deserve it, F/M, Gen, I really like the Princess Bride, Please don't judge me, RP AU, This is probably going to be bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Cinnamon_Roll/pseuds/A_Cinnamon_Roll
Summary: Okay, this is a Princess Bride AU for an RP I'm doing. All of the characters are based on or are characters played by me and my friends.





	Yet Another Princess Bride AU

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the dialogue is taken from the screenplay of the Princess Bride. I don't own Star Wars, the Princess Bride, or any of the characters other than Tianyss and Jartris

Jartris coughed loudly as he sat in his bed, clutching his stuffed toy tauntaun close. His normally ruddy golden skin was frighteningly pale as he stared at the holotelevision. Nothing good was on, so he was stuck watching reruns of a Devaronian soap opera. His door slid open and Mom peeked in, holding a tray with a bowl of gi dumpling soup. “Hey, buddy,” she said softly. “Are you feelin’ better?”

Jartris burst out with another coughing fit, shaking his head. Mom sighed and walked into the room, setting the tray down in his lap. “This should help you feel better,” she said, patting his cheek. “And guess what.”

He frowned, his breathing ragged as he took a bite of the gi dumpling soup. “What?”

Mom grinned. “Your grandfather’s here.”

Dread spread across Jartris’s pale face and he groaned. “Mom, can’t you tell him that I’m sick?”

Mom sighed. “You are sick, buddy. That’s why he’s here.”

“He’ll pinch my cheek,” he protested. “I hate that.”

Mom gave him a hopeful smile. “Maybe he won’t,” she suggested.

Jartris gave her a Look. As if on cue, Grandpa burst into the room, holding a wrapped package in one hand, and his coat in the other. He grinned and pinched Jar’s cheek. Jartris glared immediately at Mom, and she barely suppressed a giggle. “Hey! How’s the sickie, eh?” Grandpa asked, pulling up Jar’s desk chair to his bedside and sitting down.

Mom smiled and took the empty bowl of soup and Grandpa’s coat as she stood up. “I think I’ll leave you two pals,” she says, beating a tactical retreat.

The two were silent for a moment before Grandpa handed him the wrapped package. “Here, I brought you a special present.”

Jartris frowned. “What is it?”

Grandpa grinned. “Just open it,” he insists, grabbing the remote to the holotelevison and turning it off.

Jartris rolled his eyes and ripped the wrapping paper. He did his best to smile as he realized what it was. “Uh, it’s a book,” he said slowly.

Grandpa’s grin widens until Jar was half afraid that his face would split in half. “This is a special book,” he claimed. “It was the book my mama used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your mama. And today, I'm gonna read it to you.”

Jar sighed, resigning himself to an even more boring afternoon. “Are there any sports in it?” he asked.

Grandpa nods, his eyes twinkling. “Are you kiddin’? Fencin’. Fightin’. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles.”

Jartris shrugged and settled back against the pillows, clutching his stuffed tauntaun. “It doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try and stay awake.”

Grandpa rolled his eyes. “Oh. Well, thank you very much,” he said dryly. “It's very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelmin’. All right.” He opened the book and started to read, “The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. Chapter One: Tianyss was raised on a small farm on the planet of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were ridin’ her horse and tormentin’ the farm boy that worked there. His name was Vardan, but she never called him that.” He looked up at Jartris. “Isn't that a wonderful beginnin’?”

Jartris rolled his eyes, doing his best to feign interest. “Yeah, it’s really good.”

Grandpa continued reading. “Nothin’ gave Tianyss so much pleasure as ordering Vardan around.”

* * *

Tianyss held the reins of her horse as she waited just outside the stable. Vardan looked up at her from pouring feed into the trough. She’s a young Mirialan girl of eighteen, with golden skin, ornamented with black geometric tattoos, and dark hair flowing down around her shoulders, framing her face in a tangled mess. Despite her lack of care, it was obvious that she was the loveliest girl on Florin, or perhaps in the entire galaxy.

“Farm boy,” Tianyss said, tossing her hair. “Polish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.”

Vardan didn’t react to her tone, only gazed at her adoringly as he spoke, “As you wish.” He was tall, and a human, only a handful of years older than her and below the dirt covering his face, as handsome as she was beautiful. Tianyss nodded and flounced away, her hair fluttering in the wind.

As you wish was all he ever said to her, no matter how rude or inane her requests could be.

A few weeks later, Vardan stood outside the stable, chopping wood. Tianyss flounced over to him, carrying two buckets. “Farm boy, fill these with water,” she said. Vardan looked down at her, his intense gaze meeting hers, and her breath caught in her throat. “Please,” she added quietly.

Vardan nodded, a small, tender smile on his lips. “As you wish.” Tianyss was rooted in her place for a moment, gazing into his eyes before she tore herself away and walked off. As soon as she was sure that Vardan wasn’t looking at her, she turned back to look at him. As she watched him continue chopping wood, she had a revelation that threatened to make her knees buckle.

She suddenly realized that when Vardan said ‘As you wish’, what he truly meant was ‘I love you’. And that realization was on her mind for longer than she’d like to admit.

Standing in the kitchen near dusk a week later, she looked up as Vardan entered, a load of firewood in his arms. As he turned to leave, she had another shattering revelation: she truly loved him back. “Farm boy,” she called suddenly, and he turned back to look at her. Her mind went blank, and she wracked her mind for a reason as to why she called him. She quickly got an idea, and nodded to one of the pitchers on the shelf, one that was easily within her reach. “Fetch me that pitcher.”

Vardan turned and easily picked up the pitcher, stepping close to her as he held it out to her. Love shone in his eyes as he gazed down at her. “As you wish,” he murmured.

Later that night, the two of them stood out in the fields with their arms wrapped around each other, the sun setting behind them, painting the sky with brilliant reds and oranges. Slowly, their lips pressed together in a sweet, tender kiss.

* * *

“Hold it!” Jartris yelled, sitting up, and Grandpa looked up from the book, startled. “What is this?” he demanded. “Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?” Horror spreads across his face. “Is this a kissing book?” he asked, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

Grandpa held up a hand to stop him. “Wait, just wait,” he insisted.

Jartris scowled, crossing his arms. “Well, when does it get good?” he demanded.

Grandpa rolled his eyes. “Keep your shirt on. Let me read.” He continued reading. “Vardan had no money for marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the galaxy. It was a very emotional time for Tianyss.”

“I don’t believe this,” Jar groaned, slumping back against the pillows, making Grandpa roll his eyes.

* * *

Tianyss wrapped her arms tightly around Vardan as they stood at the gate to the farm. “I fear I’ll never see you again,” she murmured, her eyes filling with tears as she clung desperately to him.

Vardan tightened his arms around her. “Of course you will,” he murmured, stroking her hair tenderly.

“But what if something happens to you?” she asked, tears beginning to trickle down her cheeks.

Tianyss sniffed. “But how can you be sure?” she asked, her voice trembling.

He smiled tenderly down at her. “This is true love. You think this happens every day?” He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, and Tianyss smiled through her tears. Vardan lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her lips. She kissed him back and wrapped her arms around his neck. The two clung desperately to each other, pouring all of their love and passion for each other into the kisses.

Finally, Vardan dragged himself away and grabbed his bag, glancing back at her as he began to walk away. Tianyss felt as though her heart would shatter as she watched him leave, dreading that she’d never see him again, despite his promises.

* * *

“Vardan didn’t reach his destination,” Grandpa read. “His transport was attacked by the Dread Pirate Invictus, who never left captives alive. When Tianyss got the news that Vardan was murdered-”

Jartris perked up, his complexion slowly gaining more color. “Murdered by pirates is good!” he said, finally getting into the story.

Grandpa smiled and continued reading. “She went into her room and shut the door. And for days, she neither slept nor ate.”

* * *

Tianyss felt as though her heart had been torn out of her chest as she sat on her bed, staring out her window at the rolling fields. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she let out a soft, broken sob at the thought of her lost love. “I shall never love again,” she vowed, her voice cracked and broken.


End file.
